Size Matters

My friend Andy sent me the following illustrations that might be interesting to people into trivia. It's a great way to show the relative sizes of the planets. Suddenly, I feel very small.

VFW: Don't Bring Me Down, Bruce

Kirk and the Lincoln Road Gang were on hand to celebrate Bruce's birthday. Unfortunately, they missed the winner's circle by one point. And, thankfully, Bruce passed on the chance to sing himself (He had refused a birthday serenade). We're Here for the Beer (now with 50% fewer calories) depended on Steve's expert James Bond knowledge to get them once again into fifth place. They chose the JFK assassination as their theme. Betaing them by one point was Major Nix Lix and Son, who chose the Battle of Gettysburg as their theme (something tells me that Leroy was behind that choice). D & M had another great night and took third. Room Two was second. And the well-rested Chicks and Dicks once again took the grand prize.

A portion of Shitz and Giggles and Friends: Willie (AKA "Giggles") and Deb (AKA "Friend").

Tom and Tina were two more of Giggles' friends.

Bube's: Things That Don't Suck

Nate, AKA "Tex", of the Toxic Olives enjoys one of the more frightening of the recent Trashbag gifts: a clown mug. The crowd enjoyed a rousing game of trivia and the Nutsacks enjoyed a new view from the ground floor. They were playing catch-up to the Fool Monkey all night. But the Monkeys were hot with their guessing and took home the top prize. Last week's champs, the Death Rays, took third. Fourth went to Buffy and the Sexual Psychopaths, who chose the TV show Project Runway as one of next week's themes. Helmut Kohl's Crusaders, who hadn't played trivia at Bube's since the Curtis days, came in fifth and chose crops as their theme. The Boognishers, Eat It Raw and the Olives were all close behind, but all imploded in the last round. And the Wise Men never want to see another Tribond again.

Megan helps Traci recover from her birthday.

Chuckles: Take Me Out to the Trivia Game

Baseball and trivia, like hot dogs and apple pie go together. The picture round was popular for once and featured 10 baseball movie classics. KCC was moved to another booth, so their trivia mojo wasn't working properly. The Unit 2 Meltdown Crew was too sugared up from Pixy Stix to get their act together. Laffy Taffy, The Price Is Right and the Barry Gibb Talk Show with Special Guest Star Bugman all missed the winners' circle by one question. The Rainmakers took fifth and chose '50s doo-wop as their theme. Then there was a tie for third, with Bill vs. Phil. Billy "I Never Win at the Alilgator Tie-Breaker" Warmth lived up to his name, so Out of the Vortex chose Wyoming as their theme. Phil and the Lethal Amoebas took third. The Rainmakers once again came soooo close to winning, but had to settle for second when Ubersmack beat them by one point. If you stayed after the show, you got to see some inter-mural slap action between Adam and Bill.

Bert's 15 Seconds of Fame

Bert of the Foreplayers always said that she wanted to see her name up in lights. Here we (barely) see that she missed out on Monday night's jackpot.

VFW: DeWilde, Wild Lititz

Kristy of the We Don't Care, It's Kristy's Birthday team (thankfully there's a comma in that title) displays her favorite gift of the evening. Her new team did very well their first time out, taking fifth and choosing Strasburg, PA as their theme for next week. We're Here for the Beer almost made the top three, but a last-minute change dropped them to fourth. They chose James Bond as their theme. There was a tie for second when the comeback kids, Dennis and Melanie, caught up with the Chicks and Dicks. But it was Stinksattrivia's knowledge of UFC that led them to victory. Nix "We Never Win Any Prizes" Lix won some prizes. The B52s and the Posse defended a woman's right to shrinkage. And the Foreplayers had to defend themselves from an outbreak of civil war on their team.

In order to disprove Frank's claim that I only post pictures of beautiful women on my blog, I thought I'd go in the totally opposite direction.

Bube's: We Arrrrrrrre the Champions

The Crabby Dicks celebrated Traci's birthday by bringing her to Bube's on International Talk Like a Pirate Night. Teams were really into it, with several going full costume. I managed to find an authentic pirate dew-rag and then used the arrrrrrr voice the entire evening (which does wonders for your vocal chorrrrds, btw). Prizes included barrrbecue chips, Starrr Warrs valentines and white wine vinegarrrr (you get the idea). Thanks to Kate for helping me get set up and thanks to all for making it an extra fun night!


It was an above parrrr evening for the Tesla Death Rays, as they posted their highest score ever. Team Discovery Channel finally got out of their slump and took second. Then it was Jeff of the Boognishers vs. Becky of the Olives facing the alligator, with Becky walking the plank. The Olives then chose tribonds as their theme. (Tribonds are those groupings of three words that you must guess what they have in common. Over Charles' objection, the Fool Monkey renamed themselves the Bluebearded Clam and took fifth. They chose mountains as their theme

John wore his Pittsburgh Pirates shirt and a bandana; Charrrrrles brought a parrot, wore a hook, a bandana, an earring, an eyepatch AND a poofy shirt. And Bill . . . shaved his head.

Eat It Rrraw's Laura demonstrates her multipurpose hook on Chris.

Shiver Me Ovaries, featuring Jennifer's $5.99 parrot that has kicked the bucket, shuffled off the mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile.

Becky provided eyepatches for the Toxic Olives. Laura delighted in her dollar store purchases. Tim wore his regular Saturday night outfit.

Karen was a little late, since she busy making her homemade eyepatch.

The Nutsacks had one of their worst picture rounds everrrrrr.

Bube's: Abandon All Hope

Tomorrow (September 19th) is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. To celebrate, I'm doing a An Extra Special Episode of the Earth Trivia show at Bube's, featuring lots of pirate trivia and lots of "avast me hearties." And, if someone on your team is wearing an eyepatch, your team will be awarded a bonus three points (one bonus per team). If you wear a complete costume, I might buy you a pint of grog. Arrrrrrr!!!

Chuckles: Trivia Is Painless

It's slim. It's sleek. And it takes pictures that look like krep. The Motorola Razor phone.

Now that we have the commercial out of the way, onto this week's commentary: Prizes tonight ran from the appropriate (Harry Potter Valentines) to the bizarre (pork loin skillet paste). Funk du Jour are now in search of leather to polish. The Talent Scouts liked their deodorant, but hated their S'mores candy bars (which the Price Is Right snarfed up). Jack of the Assassins knows his Buchanan, Bug Man knows I pass him over every week and everybody knows Hoolihan's rank, due to a Major brain fart by me.

A mere seven points separated the top five teams on a night of extremely close scores. Out of the Vortex finally conquered the picture round and took fifth. They chose the original CSI TV series as their theme for next week. Halfway to Saint Patty's Day took fourth and chose baseball movies. Ubersmack took third for the 27th time in a row. Your Mom (that's them in that haze of orange vaseline above) had their highest placing ever and took the silver. And the Lethal Amoebas, aided by their secret weapon Loryn, took the grand prize.

Washington D.C.: The Puzzler

Despite the overcast skies, I spent a fun day in Washington D.C. yesterday, riding along on a school bus trip sponsored by the art department. I ditched the group and met my friend Jean (a native D.C.er), who took me to a Cuban restaurant that was serving a dim sum brunch. (Where else can you buy a sliver of coconut crispy rice with a dollop of "foam" for $8.00?). We also explored a street arts festival, discovered an obscure little coffee cafe called Starbucks and ventured into several museums. The above pic was taken at the Smithsonian's Sculpture Garden, where we found this puzzled rabbit. I think he's trying to come up with Harry Potter questions for tonight's show.

Here Jean is contemplating getting rid of her money pit of a house and going with something simpler.

VFW: Won't You Come Home, Beetle Bailey?

A nice crowd at the VFW enjoyed some Beetle Bailey and Will Ferrell trivia. And we also enjoyed the prospect of the construction nearing its completion, so we soon can give up navigating the alleys of deepest, darkest Lititz. Leroy boned up on Camp Swampy, but Major Nix Lix nd Son failed to place. Bert finally saw her name up in lights, but the Foreplayers also were shut out. Not a Chance had not a chance. We're Here for the Beer managed to get fifth and chose the Wild, Wild West tv show as their theme. Room 2, led by Matt and Jason, chose a more current show, the Ultimate Fighting Championship (AKA UFC). The B52s had a stellar night and placed third. Chicks and Dicks returned from their tour of Europe and took second. And it was Shitz and Giggles and Friends claiming victory with an impressive 8 out of 10 right final round.

Bube's: Sexual Sociopaths on the Loose

The Sociopaths (Tim, Buffy, Josh and Sarah) used their knowledge of the Buffyverse to take first, besting the Fool Toxic Outsider Discovery Channel Nutsack in a Jar Monkey by one question. They also won a box of Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp, which they highly recommend. John of the Monkey attributed his team's high standing due to the absence of a key member. Speaking of high standings, the Unit 2 Meltdown Crew had their highest placing yet, taking third. Team Discovery Channel, meanwhile, had their most spectacular crash-and-burn ever, lighting up the room with their flame-out.

The Boognishers were a brand new team and came blasting out of the starting gate, taking fifth on their first try. They chose chemistry as their theme. Fourth place Eat It Raw chose '80s horror movies, but Chris has to scare up her cousin next week, since Brian will be away.

Seth the secret agent uses the latest camouflage techniques.

Chuckles: By the Power of Greyskull

It was a TV-themed night as we featured questions on Happy Days and He-Man (not to be confused with She-Man). Paige and the Bowmans, along with the Tidy Bowlers were back for more. Laffy Taffy was exiled to the hinterlands. Art Attack wanted bonus points for the most answers wrong. Barb of the Price Is Right wanted answers for favors. The Lethal Amoebas had a slightly fishy smell to them. Speaking of smell, the Heady Stinkies managed to place fifth, but took off before announcing their theme. So the sixth-place Price Is Right team chose Harry Potter as their theme. The Assassins, led by Marianne's studying of He-man lore, took fourth and chose M*A*S*H as their theme. The Rainmakers were blindsided by the up and coming Skirtland team, taking third and second, respectively. And proving that picking a theme sometimes gives you the extra edge, it was Eternia's Ubersmack team that claimed victory. Watch out, Skeletor!

Young at Heart

Steph Weaver of the Lethal Amoebas hired me to do a trivia show at her family reunion Sunday afternoon at Lancaster's County Park. The Young family welcomed me and the chance to flex their trivia muscles. After feasting on barbecue and delicious home-made pies, we got down to business. The Young and the Restless and the Good Guessers had to settle for fourth, while the Super Steelers took third. The Smokin' Hot Mommas proved that they didn't need men to score well. But it was the Bradford County Connection (pictured above) that dominated the competition. The show went over so well that they booked me for next year. Thanks, guys!

The Young family really has their act together. The reunion featured a printed program, themed decorations, and even family t-shirts.

VFW: Carry On, My Wayward Sons

We celebrated Annie's working birthday with a mash-up night of prog rock and Sinatra. Tom Sawyer got some extra airplay. Paul got Sheila a patriotic teddy bear. Sheila faced Bert in an alligator tie-breaker. And Sheila might be up and walking next week.

In non-Sheila news, D and M + 2 took the top spot, with Pointers and Setters close behind. Room to Grow took third. Not-A-Chance had a chance until the dreaded picture round, so they placed fourth and chose Will Ferrell movies as their theme. Bert won that aforementioned fifth-place tie-breaker and chose Bettle Bailey as her team's theme.

That's Bert slumped over, doing her best Veronica Lake impression for the Foreplayers.

Bube's: The South Shall Rise Again...

...but not tonight. Stacy and Ron, a daughter and father team, drove the whole way from Orlando, Florida to play trivia, Pennsylvania-style. We won't mention where they placed, but they did have some Apple Chex mix from the Trashbag of Deelite to munch on during the long ride home. Thanks for the visit, and we'll meet again in January!

The Tesla Death Rays had a stellar night, winnning the whole shebang. It looked like A Stingray Ate My Exploding Ovary was in second, but a scoring mistake moved the Toxic Olives into their place. This unfortunately bumped the Unit 2 Meltdown Crew, Eat It Raw and National Lampoon's European Nutsacks into a tie for sixth, so they all got bupkiss.

We welcomed back Josh and Sarah and friends after a long absence. It didn't take them long to get back in the swing of things, since they placed fourth. They chose the TV series "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" as their theme. Team Discovery Channel kept the TV vibe going by choosing "Hogan's Heroes."

Missy's team, The Unit 2 Meltdown Crew, was looking forward to the tie-breaker, but it was not to be.

Vodka connoisseur (had to look the spelling of that one up) Brian was overruled by his teammates time and again.

Remember Curtis Earth's daughter Cara? Do you recall what a great singer she is? You can watch a video from her new album, "Puberty Is Heck" here.

Chuckles: We Work Hard For Our Money

Therefore, we play hard on Labor Day eve. The rain must have kept people in Lancaster, because it seemed like the entire city came out to play trivia. At the top of the pack, due to a phenomenal last round, was Henry AKA Harry "Indiana" Jones' favorite team, the Assassins (pictured above). They squeaked by the Rainmakers by one point. Team Wow Me wowed me by placing third. Tim and Kelly, the Incredible Ninja Squirrels were beating themselves up over a changed answer and had to settle for fourth. But they got to pick He-Man and the Masters of the Universe as a theme for next week. Keeping it on the tube, The fifth place Price Is Right team chose Happy Days.

We had a mini-rivalry in the back room. It looked like Funk du Jour was going to beat Funk du Jour Is Going Down, until the latter team lived up to its name in the last round. They had to contend with the 37+ Nikko team and their children. Roxie, meanwhile had to contend with me calling her Hoxie. Cathy of KC Cubed won a stylish pink boa, whilke a little girl was thrilled with her can of spray starch. The Gang of Eight made their first appearance at trivia in a long while, only to realize that their brains were a little rusty. Debbie took the place of Cindy our server And we welcomed Krista as our new waitress. All in all, a very busy, and fun night.