Here's a nice pic of We're Here for the Beer. They captured third place with the help of Steve's unhealthy knowledge of '60s television.

Room Two had to settle for seventh, and they're going with a popular theme: World War II.

For those of you who were wondering who named themselves Vagisil Eliminates Feminine Itch and Odor, here they are.

Nick and one of the "Young" (and I use the term loosely) Bucks.

Bube's: Bacon, Bacon, Bacon, Bacon!

Karen and Jamie of the Tesla Death Rays (AKA the Dude and the Chick @ the End of the Bar) took a break from their respective world travels to visit Bube's. They won a box of Yogo roll-ups that they claimed looked like bacon. So, if you eat at Karen's, beware any sweet-smelling burgers! They also were the theme-picking team for next week. Inspired by a Munsters question, they are going with "Facts About Fred Gwynne."

Team Discovery Channel and the Wise Men were tied for sixth, followed by (in reverse order) the Tony Danza Slap! I Wish I Could Remember What I Ate In My Sleep Last Night (Dedicated to Derek Nowak) and the Friends of Bill tied for third with first-timer Tim going against veteran Jack-offer Karen in the tie-breaker. Tim prevailed. When Team Nutsack Jumps In A River It Doesn't Get Wet, the River Gets Nutsacked took the silver and the Chubby Stubbies the gold.

Tim of the Friends of Bill raises a glass to his bronze medal-winning team.

The Chubby Stubbies somehow managed to ace the difficult last round.

Radio Comedy This Weekend!

As some of you know, I'm involved with a performing troupe called the Not-Ready-For-Drive-Time Players that puts on raunchy radio comedy shows. The group does staged readings of Howard Stern-ish (Sternesque?) comedy skits in the style of an old-fashioned radio show, complete with sound effects and commercial spoofs. We've done Halloween and Christmas shows in the past and this year we've added one in the Spring. You have three chances this weekend to see it:

Friday, April 18th, 8 P.M. Bube's Brewery, Mount Joy (upstairs in Alois)
Saturday, April 19th, 7:30 P.M. Appalachian Brewing Company, Gettysburg
Sunday, April 20th, 5 P.M., Appalachian Brewing Company, Harrisburg (Chris Ivey will be covering my Chuckles trivia show that night)

Guitarist Eric Weiss will also perform Friday and Saturday night, while the band The Committee performs Sunday night.

Admission: $5 (cheaper than almost a half of a bad movie!)

Beware: Mature (so to speak) audiences only!

Hoping to see you this weekend,
Mike

Chuckles: Bowlers Form Their Own Country

The Tidy Bowlers were starting their own grocery store tonight as they cornered the Trashbag market. It was a very close scoring night, with three teams (Chillin' with My Gnomies, the Coochy Snorchers and Skirtland) only missing third place by one point. The T-birds and the Intoxicated Intellectuals were tied for third, but months of playing Crocodile Dentist with his kid paid off for Brad, as the IIs won the tie-breaker. The three-headed Ubersmack was second, seven points behind the surprisingly lucid Jay and Lorraine.

Chris Ivey will be our substitute host next week. Since there was a three-way tie for fifth, I decided to go easy on Chris and declare it to be a theme-free night. I'll be performing with the Spring Radio Theatre Comedy Troupe in Harrisburg that night (see above post). Please be kind to Chris.

The T-Birds were oh-so-close, but then captain jack bit Bill twice and they fell to fourth.

The Tidy Bowlers were happy to share their Marshmallow Mateys with the Coochy Snorchers. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

The Mezes want to officially protest the last round.

Damion at Annie Bailey's this Thursday

Singer songwriter and stawlart Earth trivia friend Damion Wolfe will be playing at Annie Bailey's this Thursday night (April 17th) from 8 to 11. Hope to see you there!

Here Comes the Rain Again

It's supposed to be rainy this weekend, so I'd like to get some rest, but our radio comedy troupe is gearing up and practicing for shows in Mount Joy, Gettysburg and Harrisburg. First up: Bube's Brewery (actually upstairs in Alois') next Friday April 18th at 8 P.M. If you like raunchy, Howard Stern-like humor, you're in for a treat! I'm the understudy for Al Gore, so I 'm going to rent An Inconvenient Truth. I'm cereal! (a reference for you South Park fans out there)

More details to come!

VFW: Food, Glorious Food!

This is the happiest Brooks and Dunn were all night, since it was taken right before the brain-crunching last round. For once, everyone enjoyed high scores on the picture round. Maybe because it was based on one of everybody's favorite topics, food. At the end of the competition, Chicks and Dicks with Steve (not Bill) claimed the top spot for the second week. The two man terror team of Jerky Pat and Kirk were only two points behind, since Kirk did not eat enough broccoli as a child. Pink Floyd's biggest fan, Room Two took third, while Shitz and We're Here for the Beer tied for fourth. Sixth went to the imploding Zombies, while Young Bucks with special guest Airman E-1 Matt Miller, on leave from Afghanistan, got the theme-picking spot. They're going with Family Guy, so bring your talking dog with you next week.

John and Dee ditched Paul and Sheila for Michael and the mysterious Mr. X.

Thanks to Chris and Greg of Prius (AKA Outback) for providing me with one-liners all night.

Bube's: Faster Than Vermont Syrup in April

Marie returned from the wilds of Vermont to give Don't You Wish Your Nutsack Was Hot Like Me a much needed shot of estrogen. They also won the night's competition, capping off her triumphant visit. The Tony Danza Slap was only 2 points behind, followed by a tie between TDC and We Have No Half and Half, But We Have Duck Sauce and We're Out of Wings. Justin and Janelle, AKA Yankee Hotel Foxtrot were fifth and the Toxic Olives were sixth. You'll have to dig further in the blog to find who was seventh.

Tom is ticked off that Captain Jack wanted a beer after biting Seth's finger. Here's some Earth Trivia trivia: Team Discovery has never won a Captain Jack-off. Tonight their lack of Jack-off skills doomed them to fourth place.

Brad, Patty, Erin and Van made me say that I wouldn't say where they placed in the rankings, but they are the ones who are picking next week's theme: Dumb and Dumber.

Keri joined the hands of Sam to become Alpha Squad Seven (A Quinn Martin Production).

The Weird Sisters were sailing through until they crashed on the rocks of the Picture Round.

Double A and the Godfather were hoping for seventh, but had to settle for a decorative pig platter, which they promptly gave away to these two lasses.

Whatever Happened to the Trashbag Turtle?

Oh the humanity!

Name That Tuna!

I'd like to put in a good word for a music show that I've been enjoying lately. It's called Name That Tuna and I've been playing it the last few weeks at Prudhomme's Cajun Kitchen in Columbia with some friends and family. Hosted by Ponytail Bob, it's a simple concept, yet addictive and fun. Bob plays tunes and you have to name the artist and title. He plays almost the entire song, so even if you've never heard it, you can take a stab at the title.

This week Bob is adding a Wednesday night show (beginning at 8 P.M.) at the Villa Nova West on Columbia Avenue. You can find much more info on his website. I hope to get there after my Lititz VFW show, so maybe I'll see you there.

Santacat Says...

Only 261 days until Christmas!

Chuckles: Two by Two

It was couples night at Chuckles, with the two top spots going to two dynamic duos. Bill and Marge of Out of the Vortex recovered from a disastrous picture round to take first, followed by the Lethal Amoebas. The Price Is Right once again were third, followed by a tie between Skirtland and Ubersmack, who had been hoping for five in a row. Jason and Nick had a fantastic last round, as We Can Win with Tickets tied with the Talent Scouts for sixth. That meant K Squared C Squared was in seventh and they're going with bridge (as in the card game, not the Tappan Zee). The Tidy Bowlers really enjoyed the Smartee beans, while Dawn and Trish could have used Sue's NASCAR knowledge. The Gnomies found that downsizing caused more arguing while the Bowmans headed for the hills.

Jay and Lorraine of the Lethal Amoebas got 8 out of 10 right in the last round, without the help of Extra Special Guest Star Alan.

The Price Is Right welcomed back Crocodile Stevedee.

A flock of cherubs descended upon Ubersmack to cheer them up.

I'm trying to remember who gave their camouflage Jiffy Pop away. I'm suspecting the Talent Scouts.

Cory, Karen and Carol were joined by Kim to become the seventh-place theme-picking K Squared C Squared. Apparently you can only be their friend if your name begins with a K or a C. Next week they will be joined by their colleagues Kiki, Coco and Kookaboora. (Ain't that konfusing?) Cindy wanted to join, but she was too soft.

Special Trivia Show Sat. April 26th!

I'd like to alert all you trivia fans of an upcoming trivia show for a worthy cause. It's a Relay for Life fundraiser being hosted by Billy Warmth (Cafe Chuckles players may know him as Bill of Out of the Vortex). As a Relay team captain, this cause is close to my heart. I'm amazed at some of the success stories of the American Cancer Society and saddened by the miles we have to go.

I can't attend this special show, but hopefully you can!

-Mike

Here are the details:

On Saturday, April 26, Celi's Clubhouse at Crossgates Country Club is hosting a special TRIVIA EVENT to raise funds for the American Cancer Society in memory of Millersville University's Dr. Centola. Join Earth Trivia's Bill "Buddha" Warmkessel from 5 -7 pm for early-evening trivia fun, raffles, and prizes. Bring your appetite because 15% of food sales will be donated to Dr. Centola's Relay Team, "The Art of the Possible." Celi's is SMOKE FREE and deck will be open if nice weather. No ticket needed to enter. Arrive early for a good seat!

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

"Happy Birthday, Lisa; Lisa, it's your birthday" as a man who thought he was Michael Jackson once sang. Lisa Stillwhackin' of the Exploding Ovaries threw a fantastic birthday party at the architectural salvage shop called Building Character. You should check them out some time, if you're into art or antiques. The party also featured a band of five F&M professors known as In Loco Parentis. They sounded great for a group that rarely performs together.

VFW: The Ties That Don't Bind

Who's the guy who beat Matt? This guy!

Grant's happy because he just beat Matt in one of the quickest Captain Jack-offs in history. In fact, it was an entire night of tie-breakers. We had an unprecedented six way tie for third going into the last round and a three way tie for second in the fourth (follow that?) Chicks and Dicks, with the help of Bill's lucky turtle pillow claimed first. Then Mixed Company, the Zombies and The Catholic Church's Stance on Birth Control sent up one member each for some extra questions. That caused the Zombies to drop to fourth. D&M were fifth, the B52s were sixth and Brooks and Dunn got to choose a theme. They're going with food, glorious food.

Bube's: No Foolin'

Chris and Brian of Eat It Raw were shocked that they won tonight's competition. And it wasn't an April Fool's joke! That was reserved for a special Identify the Supreme Court Justice's Nose picture round (It was a lot of work, but it made me laugh). There was a second-place tie between the Tony Danza Slap and Lucious Lisa and Sigmund's Tentacles (you'll have to ask Shannon about the tentacles reference - just don't shake his hand), with David fending off Shannon. Dwight Put Our Cat in the Freezer was only one question behind, followed by Buy Me Some Peanuts and Nu-ut-sacks I Don't Care If I Ever Get Back (must sing) and Team Discovery Channel. The beet-eating team of Battlestar Galactica got to choose a theme for next week and they're going with the films of Wes Anderson.

Laura is going to use her bank to save up for some tobakky.

Chuckles: Follow the Bouncing Octopus

The teams returned well-rested after a two-week break, but a brutal last round cracked a few Easter Eggs and there were shells everywhere. Lisa and Tim of the Paws team (above) enjoyed the game, but not their Trashbag prize, a can of octopus with garlic sauce (courtesy of Goya). I did a little switcheroo after the game and gave them some Sugar Daddys instead. The octopus went to Ubersmack (see below), who were hungry from their fourth win in a row. The Gordie Howe loving Linuscratchitt were unable to cash in on their Herve Villechaize knowledge and finished eight points back. The Price is Right were third, the Gnomies fourth, while McAnd Beckinland and Ron Paul for President tied for fifth. That meant that cineophiles Lorraine and Ralph Kramden placed seventh and they're going with Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn movies as their theme. The other nine teams basically bombed the last round, once again proving that I shouldn't get a week off.

Tim and Deric of Ubersmack played another game of WWTE? (as in "What Wouldn't Tim Eat?) after the show It's a fairly simple game, since the answer is "anything but mayonnaise."

Connie of the Price Is Right brought along her son, Sunday News celebrity Joe. I hadn't seen Joe since he was "little Joey" and only 10 years old, so it was a shock. Joe helped his team to third place.

VFW: The Yellow Rose of Lititz

Grant's least favorite category, state flowers, was the theme as the all-male team of Dave, Matt and Matt, AKA the Downtrodden squeaked by the Chix and Dix by one point for first. I announced the B52s as third-place winners, but luckily Mel is better at math than I, since D&M were the true third placers. My apologies to you all and to Price Waterhouse. Mixed Company placed fifth, followed by Clyde and Company, while Mike of MK placed lucky seventh. He's going with "water" as his theme, so bring your wading boots next week!

Brian of Brooks and Dunn appreciated the post-show moon pie.

Dick the undertaker is in total shock that Room Two came in sixth.

Bube's: The Balcony Rules!

March Madness hit Bube's as the three top spots were taken by the three balcony teams. Here we see Quietly Making Noise basking in the victors' afterglow.

Despite Meredith's finger saying they're Number One, We're Wrong was actually Number Three, right after second place Hillary Clinton's Nutsack. Team Discovery Channel was fourth, followed by a tie for fifth between Denogginators and Easter Eggs Have Given Me the Splattery Poo!

Jeremy didn't come as far as Danielle to play (that's what she said) as That's What She Said. Unfortunately, by the end of the evening, they weren't on top (that's what she said). They did, however place seventh, and picked The Office as their theme (that's what I said).

Amanda needed a break, so she rounded up Tom and Dana and company to play as the Denogginators. Unfortunately, their noggins fell off in the final round.

Liz and Jason did much better on the picture round than they normally do.

Pix from Last Week's Bube's Show

Deric, AKA "the Human Torch," displays his amazing superpowers to his teammates Paul and Trisha on superhero night at Bube's.

Nathan and Eric had a most excellent night, taking second place and, more importantly, winning a double disc Pat Robertson album, circa 1973.