VFW: To Boldly Go

Your five year mission: to explore brave new ways of getting to the VFW. Once people figured out how to maneuver the construction, they were treated to some Star Trek questions, along with Goodfellas. Nick was happy that she aced all the film questions, and even used her psychic powers to anticipate the wild card. Addison and Robert were doing really well until they had to take off. Room 2's winning streak ended, as they plummeted in the fourth round to fifth place. They chose progressive rock as their theme. Then there was a tie for third between Shitz and Giggles and Alice in Wonderlust. So a nervous Millie, new to the alligator, faced Laurie, who quickly went down. They then chose Frank Sinatra songs as their theme. Dennis and Melanie, despite the %#@!%&!ed picture round came from out of nowhere to takes second. And the two-man team of Steve and Kirk had an impressive victory.

Bubes: No Respect for Suet

It was a high-scoring night of jabbing genitalia with a lot of action between the Nutsacks and the Ovaries (no, you haven't wandered into the wrong site by mistake). In the end, Exploding Ovaries Over Pluto (above) was the victor, with an impressive 88. Linuscratchitt and the Reinforcements made their last appearance for awhile before the tennis season, and only lost by 5 points. The Nutsacks shrunk in the end, and tied for third with the Flaming Moe-rons. The Moes lost the tie-breaker and chose International Harvester as their theme. And Eat It Raw had another impressive night with 80 points. They chose the films of John Hughes as their theme. The big loser of the night was the trade-in prize: an unclaimed block of suet. It's starting to get a complex, since it had been re-gifted from Sunday's Chuckles show.

Chuckles: So Long, Jenna!

Here we see Lori, Samantha and Jenna. Tonight we said goodbye to Jenna, who has been at Chuckles since the turn of the century. She made me feel welcome when I started here this summer and I will miss her. You can catch her just up the pike at Calhoun's, where she'll be putting her culinary training to good use. Good luck, Jenna!

Meanwhile, on the trivia front, it was a see-sawing night. The Tidy Bowlers and 17 other teams did battle (the Bowlers were determined to get mentioned on the website, btw). The Talent Scouts had trailed most of the night, but came blazing forth in the last round, aided by their amazing wonder tube (see below). They took first, followed closely by the Rainmakers. Ubersmack was concerned that they were slipping, but they still managed third. The Price Is Right and the Speedcats, both from the hinterlands of the non-smoking room, tied for fourth, so they chose Journey and Full House as next week's Labor Day weekend show themes.

Mitzi was an overly enthusiastic blurter, but got into the swing of things. Nuclear World was a one-man team who did extremely well most of the night (as did the two-person Green Wombat team). Karen and Cheryl were once again done in by the picture round. The Assassins were party animals this week, attending two concerts and three trivia shows in the space of nine days. Meanwhile, the Amoebas practiced humility and Skirtland practiced their gas-passing noises.

You're going to have to provide your own caption for this one.

VFW: The Battle of Bikini Bottom

Tonight's themes ran the gamut from World War II to everyone's favorite hole-y man, Spongebob Squarepants. As I did at several of this week's venues, we had a special "Name That Tune" round of TV themes after the show, which just proved that we all spent a lot of time in front of the tube growing up. Kirk was reunited with his Posse-mates Janie and Cal. The Foreplayers were there for the thrill of it all. D & M chose Star Trek as their theme for placing fifth, while NIx Lix chose the film "Goodfellas" for placing fourth. Shitz and Giggles had their highest placing ever by taking third. We're Here for the Beer almost won first place, but they were bested by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, AKA Room Two. Frank from WHFTB wondered why there were no recent pix of the VFW on the blog. Luckily I found my camera after the show, so above is a photo of where Frank sat tonight. Maybe I can find a more suitable picture...

Aha! Upon scouring the Internet, I was finally able to find another picture! This is the classic painting "The Birth of Frank." You'll have to click on it to see it in all its splendor.

Bube's: Things That Make You Say Arrrrrrrrr...

Josiah of Chicks Dig Nutsacks with Skills..., Ninja Skills, Nutsack Skills won the best prize of the evening, his very own first mate. His team also won the coveted fifth place slot, so they chose ESPN Sportscenter anchors as their theme.

Brent and Van were missing Casper, as the Wise Men stumbled from second to fourth in the last round. They chose to relive their childhoods by picking the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie as their theme for next week.

The Trivia Artists Formerly Known As The Exploding Ovaries were joined by Toxic Olives Craig and Becky and took second. Here, Lisa hides behind Becky's Trashbag of Deelite prize, the classic This Is Spinal Tap. That movie will be a theme some night, no doubt.

Chris and Brian had another stellar night, as Eat It Raw placed third.

Here's a commando shot of tonight's champs, the Tesla Death Rays.

For some, it was the Battle of the Brains; for the Crabby Dicks, it was the Battle of the Brians as former figure skater Traci debated Boitano vs. Orser.

The MDs were missing one of their members, but had fun nonetheless.

The Barn Door: Substitute Teacher

I had a blast subbing for Billy Warmth at his Monday night Barn Door Show. Thanks to the vivacious Cathy, the delectable Tammy, the name-whose-name-I-didn't-get hostess and the stalwart Gary for making me feel at home. Also thanks to the Sex Toys, the Large Group of Stupid Monkeys and the Wacky Corner for donating their Mensa Question winnings to United Disabilites Services. And thanks to Puppet Lint (see above) for allowing me to take their picture, despite that guy in the Witness Protection Program. Our grand prizes were a pack of whoopie pies and a box of truffles. Trashbag prizes included many fine food items and some not-so-fine (Flax cookies, anyone?).

Following are some team pix from the night's festivities. I may have flubbed some of the team names, so I apologize ahead of time.

Out of the Vortex, led by the back of Joel's head, made it two weeks in a row, with a grand total of 65 points.

Lionel Richie may have left them, but they're still doing well without him. They placed second, trailing the Vortex by a mere six points.

Don't Know Jack apparently knew something, since they placed third. It was a hybrid team of the United Disabilities Service, The Price Is Right and local Millersvillians Kitty, Renate and Sue.

Large Group of Stupid Monkeys was in the thankless fourth place slot. But thanks are in order for Bruiser, who helped me distribute pens and papers for the first round.

Laffy Taffy played with the Sex Toys in a Captain Jack-off (wait, let me re-write that:) Laffy Taffy tied with the Sex Toys for fifth place, so they had to face our tie-breaker, the alligator known as Captain Jack. Laffy Taffy won and chose the grand state of Iowa as their mini-theme for next week. They were also ecstatic to hear some Dave Matthews tunes.

The Sex Toys team was so large, we had to break them into two pix. (The lady in the left hand corner would like to post her phone number for our Internet audience, but we're not that kind of site - besides, I forgot to write it down).