Chrissy, Janet and Jack celebrate their second place victory.

Cafe Chuckles: Beam Me Up!

It was Star Trek night at Chuckles (much to the chagrin of Ubersmack), which helped the all-male version of the Rainmakers get third place. The Talent Scouts' amazing fourth round (9 out of 10 correct) helped them surpass the Price Is Right (by one point!) to claim victory. Out of the Vortex returned to Chuckles (much to the chagrin of the Rainmakers) and placed fourth. New Englander Margie chose Rhode Island as her theme. Last week's champs the Lethal Amoebas fell to fifth and had a long discussion about what their theme should be. They chose the good-old standby, alcohol. Skirtland won a wheel of cheese (as big as one dollar can buy), while Declan knew his punt from his pound. Meanwhile, the Tidy Bowlers were too stuffed with food to think.

VFW: Brenda Lee's Sorry

That's Anita Bryant at the left, looking sad that no one remembered her original rendition of the Marie Osmond classic "Paper Roses." It was early sixties night at the VFW, along with mixed drink trivia. And Dennis and Melanie and Rob and Louise (AKA D and M + 2) were the victors. Room Two was second, then it was the B52s (wishing good health to John, btw). The Posse had a new member who looked like Kirk after a sheep-shearing contest. They chose "undergarments" as their theme. Then it was Inzane in the Membrain, who chose "hairdos." So hopefully you'll have some members of the estrogen brigade on your team next week. Fartosaurus Frank and his teammates were led astray by John and tanked. And a special shout-out has to go to the Foreplayers who aced the picture round, which they usually dread with a passion.

Bube's: Out of Africa

Once I got over the shock that Bube's was temporarily out of Guinness, we had a great night. It featured the world's lamest puns on the picture sheet with the secret theme of Africa (Susan Sarandon + Dan Dierdorf = Sue-Dan).
Eat It Raw had their best showing ever, only two points off the money position. They chose Seinfeld as their theme for next week. They tied TDC, who chose "The Goonies." In third was Sausage and Coach (AKA The Wise Men), second went to the Flaming Moe-rons (pictured above) and first went to the red-hot Tesla Death Rays. The big trashbag winner was Jim of the Stonecutters, who won a talking Homer dashboard figurine (what are the odds of that happening?)

Missy thinks that Mike is "the best bartender ever." (Even though he's a Dallas fan). The fact that he just gave her a Steeler mug had absolutely nothing to do with that statement.

Kate's friend Mr. Iagi hung out with Seth after the show.

Cafe Chuckles: Italy 5, Amoebas, 6

The F'ing Frogs Lost the World Cup team, celebrated Matt's birthday by placing fifth and choosing collegiate team nicknames as their theme for next week. The Rainmakers were stuck at fourth again and chose Star Trek. The Talent Scouts returned from vacation to take third, while the Price Is Right took second. (Am I getting my tenses right?). But it was the Lethal Amoebas, led by Laura's murderous fashion sense that took the prize. And I took a prize, too, when I accepted Johannesberg Quicketymology's bribe of a quarter.

Happy Founders Day

Since I'm still in Fourth of July mode, I thought I'd check in with the Earth Trivia Founding Father himself, Curtis Earth. He's doing extremely well for himself down in Orlando and has been attracting celebrities to his shows. Recently Yackoff Smirnof, Pia Zadora and the stand-in for the original "time to make the donuts" man were rumored to have stopped by. As seen here, we do have documented proof of Miss Orlando 2006's visit.

VFW: Born on the Fifth of July

It was seventies night at the VFW as we saluted 1776 and 1976. Dennis and Melanie waited for the cavalry of Rob and Louise, but to no avail. The Drunken Stepfathers cursed the name of Jimmy Dorsey. The STaR team caught on to the new start time. A bag of habenero Doritos proved too hot to handle. Frank of the Posse tried to forfeit the alligator tie-breaker, but Cal forced him to play honest. So the Posse took first, We're Here for the Beer second and the Stepfathers third. Room 2, in fourth, chose early 60s music as their theme, while the bartending team of In Zane in the Membrain chose mixed drinks for placing fifth.

Bubes: Trivia on Holiday

It was of our more unusual trivia nights, since, due to the holiday, management canceled it an hour before it began! With such little notice, it was hard to get the word out to all of the faithful, so we had an intimate, unplugged game with the four teams who I couldn't reach. The Tesla Death Rays squeaked by Italy 2 Germany 0 to take first. The Wise Men were third and the Avatars fourth. To reward the other three losing teams, I allowed them each to pick a theme, so next week we have three themes: cartoons, Jim Carrey movies (aren't they the same thing?) and African geography.

Karen consoles Lisa and ubersoccergeeks Jennifer and Paul by offering them some patriotic cupcakes.

The Wise Men were ecstatic at the small crowd size and had their highest placing in quite some time. (Hmmmmmm....)

Birthday girl Shari is ready to celebrate one of the big ones.

J's Tuesday night show was legitimately canceled, since the Cat's Meow was closed, so he and Hope headed over to Bube's to enjoy the low-key evening.

And the Counting of the Family Shall Be Three...

Heartiest congratulations to Janay and Mat-t as they welcomed the littlest holy hand grenade into this world: Megan (officially spelled Me-gan and pronounced MAYYYYYYY-GUH-UN!). Thanks also to Janay for timing Megan's debut a day before my birthday (much as I love the little girl, I don't want to share my day).

Chuckles: A Civil War

Our second show at Chuckles had an air of history about it, since the themes were the Civil War and the 1939 World's Fair. It was pretty even, since no one had first-hand knowledge of either event. The All You Can Eat Johanesberg Yis team was happy to see trivia return. Will and Grace stayed for all four rounds, but Asshole did not (that's what he called himself, it wasn't what I called him). Ubersmack made the hop skip and jump over to Chuckles and Sue and Jim called it quits after a disastrous picture round. (Best of luck, btw, to Adam who also called it quits and is starting serving at the Log Cabin next week). Buzzsaw came in fifth and chose "Pulitzer Prize-winning authors" as their theme for next week. Next came defending champs the Rainmakers, who chose "Kevin Smith movies." Besting the Rainmakers by one point was the Lethal Amoebas, who trailed Thinkingaboutit.com by one point. And in first was The Price is Right, AKA Connie's Harem.

VFW: A Fish Story

This happened the day after the deluge of '06. We had probably the closest game in the history of VFW trivia, when only one point separated the top four teams. The Posse tied Room Two for first, but then fell victim to the Captain Jack tie-breaker. Then, tied for third, only one point behind the top two teams, were In-Zane in the Membrain (featuring my arch-enemy Doug from McCaskey) and 2 + 1 - (D & M) (that sounds like an algebra equation, but it signifies that Rob and Louise were missing Dennis and Melanie, who were busy bucketing their basement). 2 + 1 lost and chose "It Happened in 1776" as thier theme for next week, since it will occur on the Fifth of July. In fifth place was Kathy and Her He-Bitches, who decided to keep it all in the 70s by chosing 1970s trivia as their theme.

Bube's: All Time High?

14 teams parted the Red Sea and drove to Bube's during a torrential downpour. Those teams witnessed what is the highest score in several years, which was attained by the beast with three heads known as the Fool Monkey. 91 points! Two perfect rounds! Unfortunately, Charles bolted before he could get his victory portrait taken. So John and Bill are holding up their "Dad" pen in lieu of Charles. Or is that in charles of lieu? (Sidebar: Charles makes no claim to fathering either of them.)

They are also holding up their prize for winning the special World Cup-themed second round: it's a box of $1.59 Little Debbies. None of those cheap $1.09 boxes I normally give out. A special occasion calls for breaking the budget!

In honor of the monsoon we had endured, the second-place Joe and company called themselves "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Nutsack." Other names included Nimbochromis Fuscotaneatus, Team Colorado and Hide Your Wife, Here Comes Brent Myers.

Don't Put Kryptonite in Your Undies, Especially If You Wear Them on the Outside is happy, despite losing the third-place tie-breaker to the Tesla Death Rays. They chose "Russian history" as their theme, knowing full well that they can't make it next week. Since they did so well in the Cup-inspired round, TDC chose the timely "World Cup" as their theme for finishing fifth.

Cafe Chuckles: A New Era

Sunday night was my inaugural show at Cafe Chuckles, and everyone made me feel very welcome. Chuckles has had trivia on Sunday nights with a different host for many years, so it was with some trepidation that I began. But all the teams were friendly (and being trivia-starved helped, too). I debuted my crappy flashless camera-phone - if you look real hard, you might see the Talents Scouts in the pic above. They came in second, bested by three points by the Rainmakers. Freedom Vac 5000 came in third (thanks to Fritz for helping me set up, btw); the eagle-eyed Skirtland team came in fourth and chose the Civil War as their theme for next week. And We Are Still the Lethal Amoebas came in fifth, despite their horrible picture round. They chose the 1939 World's Fair as their theme. Thanks to everyone for a great debut, especially Jenna, Lori, Cindy, Adam and the rest of the staff. See you all next Sunday!

Cafe Chuckles This Sunday!

Through the wonders of modern technology, Fritz sent a cameraphone pic of this sign in Chuckles' lobby to my phone, then I forwarded it to my e-mail address, downloaded it, then uploaded it to the blog. I'm getting a cyber-nosebleed! Anywho, I hope you can make it to the debut of my new weekly Sunday show at Lancaster's Cafe Chuckles this Sunday night (June 25th). It begins at 8 P.M. and will feature all the regular Earth Trivia bits that you know and dread: questions, trashbags, a picture round and two hours of trivial goodness. (now with a marshmallow creme center!)

VFW: The Longest Day

It was the longest day of the year, but the trivia contest flew by. Chicks and Dicks had their last shot at "King of Queens" trivia, but they had an off night. The B52s took fifth and chose "cars" as their theme. Tom of Nix Lix faced Sheila of the cleverly-named M and S team for the first time in the Captain Jack tie-breaker and got chomped twice quickly. He chose "fishing lures" as his theme. D and M + 2 took second and the whiz kids of Room 2 only missed half of one question in the fourth round. Alice in Wonderland's name change to Alice in Wonderlust didn't help. Lexie of the Posse made a rare appearance. And Ron will never let his teammates forget that he was right about Playdough.

Bube's: We Miss Tabitha Already!

It was a night of transitions as we had some staffing changes at Bube's. Our new man behind the bar is Mike (which should be easy for me to remember), backed up by Shannon, who is experiencing life on the other side. We also welcomed Derrick as our host and had music trivia host Kerry as a player. (Don't forget that Kerry's Wednesday music trivia show is on hiatus for the month of June, but will return in July).

Sadly, tonight was Tabby's last night as a trivia server, since she is all packed up and ready to move to Florida. We will truly miss her warm friendliness and excellent service! Tabby stayed afterwards and shared some Bube's stories.

On the action front, the Tesla Death Rays, abetted by some guest visitors, took first place. The Fool Monkey Is Pleased to Announce That He, Too, Will Not Be Indicted did one of their patented comebacks and placed second (Charles is now an official Voltron fan). The Vernal Equinutsacks led most of the night, but stumbled a bit in the last round and took third. Team Discovery Channel were not in their usual front room spot, but still managed fourth place. They chose the TV show "Scrubs" as their theme for next week. Not Worth Cheating Off Of, led by the superb guessing of Paul took fifth and chose "choral music" as their theme (courtesy of songbird Jordan).

Laura attempts to cement her head to Tabby to prevent her from leaving.

Joe, Joanne and Nick welcome their newest member, Sebastian to "The Vernal Equinutsacks." (Alternate photo caption: The Nutsacks got crabs)

And, speaking of crabs... Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the newly-renamed team "The Crabby Dicks Found Some New Sweaty Balls." (Tracie, who named the team, was in the loo at the time of this pic).

Eat It Raw shares a tender moment.

Trashbag winners were treated to a complimentary piece of unwashed cilantro tonight.

These are the people who chose "Choral Music" as a theme. Memorize their faces.

Bad blogger, bad, bad blogger!

It's time for my semi-monthly "I've been a bad blogger" post apologizing for lack of this week's commentary.

For those of you who come here looking for themes, this week are:

Bube's - college team nicknames and Voltron.
VFW - the Civil War and the King of Queens (which is officially being retired as a theme after this week)

Annual Newcomm picnic

The gang at Newcomm had me back for the third time for their annual company picnic north of Lititz. This year the picknickers were in for a real treat, since the event was catered by Tim Carr, the owner of Carr's Restaurant. We feasted on prime rib and crab cakes and chocolate-dipped strawberries (when I worked at TV Guide we would be lucky to get anchovy pizzas) before we settled down to some serious trivia. The rankings see-sawed between the five teams, but it was Chloe's Crew (pictured) that took this year's crown. Thanks to all for having me, and see you next year!)

Lancaster Relay for Life Raises One Million Dollars!

This year our goal for Lancaster's Relay for Life was one million dollars in donations raised. Early Saturday morning it looked like an impossible dream, but then more and more moolah came in. At the end, the total was over one million, 27 thousand bucks! Congratulations to all who participated!

For the second year in a row I hosted a trivia contest at the Relay. Once again we had to jumpstart our brains, since it was held at 7:30 a.m. (yes, that's a.m., not p.m.). 16 teams cleared the cobwebs from their minds and played. Kelly's team "Combing for a Cure," must have been the most caffeinated, since they became the 2006 trivia champions by beating Fulton Bank Penn Square by one measly point! They won some very nice Relay paraphenalia, provided by the American Cancer Society, including Jordan's nifty umbrella.

Here we see last year's defending champions, Fulton Bank Penn Square. They were disappointed that they didn't repeat, but had a fine time, nonetheless. The Comet Coasters took third, Roaring for a Cure fourth, Skittles fifth, and Anita Cure sixth. Thanks to all the early players and to Entertainment Chair Daryl Bloom for having me back.

VFW: New Start Time Next Week

Important News! Starting next week, June 14th, the VFW show will start at 8 P.M. It will remain at 8 P.M. until the late fall (when the clocks change). We now return you to your regular blog...


Thanks again to Chris Ivey for subbing at the VFW last week, despite his nagging cough. As I announced at the show Chris later had to have an emergency appendectomy. After a couple of days in the hospital, he is now recuperating at home. so our thoughts and prayers go out to him for a speedy recovery (besides, he still owes me a sub day at Bube's!).

Tonight was the first night for the VFW Kitchen to meet the trivia show. It was also Joy and Tiffany's first night as raffle coordinators. They even played along for the first time. All in the Family stayed long enough to claim some Trashbag of Deelite prizes. The Posse took fifth and chose Hogan's Heroes as their theme. Dennis and Melanie took fourth and chose American horse breeds as their theme. Then it was The Snicker Bars, Chicks and Dicks and Room 2, in that order.

Look out, Laura! The Birthday Monster is sneaking up on you!

Bube's: A Plott a-brewing

Here'a pic of the Plott team (minus their smartest member), who took Bube's by storm on the night of the Beast, 6/6/06. In honor of that date. most of the questions had a devilish theme, causing questioning looks on latecomers. In fact, The Two Bubes Brews Blues crew got a Satan bobblehead (see pic below).

The Nutsacks finally came up with a name that had me squirming in my seat. They took fifth and chose the real names of rappers as their theme. Shari faced birthday girl Laura, since their teams had tied for third. The Rays ended up in fourth, with David Bowie as their theme. The Olives took third, the Monkey second and the aforementioned Plott first.

Devil Dog, Hound of Hell.

Two Bubes Brews Blues, Part Dieux

Brendee's: New Kid in Town

Earth Trivia has officially branched out to a new location: Brendee's Tavern, on the corner of Lemon and Mary Streets on Lancaster's northwest side. And we have a brand new host: J! You might recall J from such films as "Dial J for Jiggyness," "A Keg Too Far," or his most recent role as Rocky in York Little Theater's production of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." (Janet! Brad! Dr. Scott! J! >grunt!<)

(Okay, enough pop references...)

J is best remembered as the bar manager at Bubes, where he artfully tended Tuesday nights since the last millennium. He's been through the gregarious grace of Curtis Earth, the bouncing bubbliness of Michelle Moon, the sardonic stylings of Chris Ivey and the minimalist musings of me. So he knows his way around the trivial path. Now he's ready to come from behind the bar and twist your brains (in a good way).
The Brendees format will be different from other Earth Trivia shows. There will be two shows on Wednesday nights, one at 8 and another at 9. A $25 Brendees gift card will be awarded to the winning teams of each show. I've eaten at Brendees (it's close to where I work) and the food is excellent. Steve the owner used to be a chef at the Holiday Inn years ago when Curtis started this whole shebang (or, should I say personbang? - probably not)

Prizes for second and third place to be determined, but J has an active imagination, so beware!

So, hopefully some of you can make it out to J's inaugural show this Wednesday (June 7th) at Brendee's to welcome him into the trivia family!

Trivia at Relay for Life

Please consider supporting the Relay for Life. We're all gearing up for this year's event. Once again I'll be participating in the Lancaster Relay, to be held this weekend from Fri. 6 P.M. to Sat. 6 P.M. at Catholic High's football field. I'll be hosting a trivia show at 7:30 A.M. on Saturday, in case you're up that early (it will probably feature some classic questions). Or you may come to the kickoff at 6 P.M. which features an inspiring Survivors' Lap, where you can see the many, many people who have kicked or are surviving the ravaging disease known as cancer. We are attempting to raise one million dollars this year, so every donation helps!

Bubes: Accept No Substitute

Due to sick substitute Chris Ivey's (sick as in physically ill, not his normal "sickness") absence, I ended up subbing for myself, yet using Chris's questions. So, it was an unusual night. Blurox 10/10 ran screaming from the room after the first round. Frist from "It's All About Steve" was pleased with the shortened format (they also came in fourth and chose "Stephen Foster songs" as their theme, while the fifth place Dead Bears chose "white-tailed deer"). The Tesla Death Rays invaded both the front and back rooms and managed to take third; Monkey 3:16 did one of their patented fourth round rallies and took second, while the Flaming Moerons squeaked by with a two-point victory. And that's about all I'm going to write, since I'm supposed to be on vacation.

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Instead of tackling the yard (which is what I should be doing), I'm organizing my box of photos. Here are some old pix, circa Halloween, 2001 (almost five years ago!) The first is of the Wise Men (who probably weren't even legal then), the second is of Adam of Dead Bear Baby In a Jar, along with Alyssa and some other friends and the third is the winner of our Simpsons costume contest, who sewed his own Radioactive Man costume.

VFW: The Parting of the Walls

Since I've lost my scoresheet, I'll have to go on memory. The night began when we pushed back the walls to reveal the newly redesigned back room, complete with new high-top tables. Once the front room is painted, the whole club will look really sharp! We welcomed back those snowbirds known as the Foreplayers, who were in fine form, since they placed fifth and chose classic cars as their theme for next week. We're Here for the Beer placed fourth and picked computer terms as their theme. Chicks and Dicks came in third, D & M + 2 second and Room 2 had a stellar fourth round and took the grand prize. Prizes were being either inhaled or traded. Janie's yo-yo was very popular; and Sheila was sporting a new rock on her hand, courtesy of Paul. Reminder: Chris Ivey the juggling trivia host will be filling in for me next week.

Bube's: Juggalo Fever

It was a full house as people learned more about Kristie's favorite group, Insane Clown Posse. The main rivalry of the night was between the Wise Men and the Wise Men PLUS ONE (the cloned team beat their foes by three points, btw). But it was the Cross-eyed Juggalos (AKA Ubersmack) that took the prize for the second week in a row. I think the fresh air did them good. The Fool Monkey Posse tied with the Death Rays and Charles broke the record for quickest defeat in the Captain Jack-off. Favorite team names for the night: Stephen Hawking's Guide to Angry Sex and Slurring Sue and Crazy Kelly. And don't forget that Chris Ivey (along with the slightly familiar J) will be guest-hosting next week. The themes? the Gospels and country music. Yee-hallelujah!

VFW: the Beaver Test

It was a trip to Mayfield as "Leave it to Beaver" was one of the themes. (Sidebar: did you know that it was never revealed what Ward's occupation was? All we know is that he worked in an office). It looked like it was going to be another three-way tie, but the red-hot D & M + 2 team took the lead. Room 2 followed and the Posse finally returned to the winner's circle, taking third. It must have been Janie's good luck toilet bowl cleaner/yo-yo charm. We're Here for the Beer chose James Bond movies as their theme, while Chicks and Dicks chose Harry Potter (which I am officially retiring as a theme after this week).

Bubes: What the H?

Things were going along well until the hellacious last round, which felled many a team. From out of the ashes arose a trio of teams to tie for first. Then, some of the contestants experienced their first three-way. "Don't Make Me Do It" Dave of the Death Rays was the first to fall, followed soon by John of the Fool Monkey. That left Deric of the Crosseyed Burritos the last man standing. The Wise Men chose ESPN for their theme and the Dead Bears chose (somehwat appropriately) Insane Clown Posse. Tracie made it three in a row and scored the Shirt of the Week. No one scored the classic white fondue set, however, since I forgot to chance it off.

Another super-talented trivia player

We have a lot of talented folk who like to play trivia, including artistic types. One such player is Melanie Hollingsworth, the "M" of the VFW's D and M team. Mel's specialty is transforming photos of pets and animals into beautiful pieces of art. Above are three examples from her stunning portfolio of paintings. If you're interested, you can contact mel at runner4@ptd.net

VFW: Who are You Calling Chicken?

Room 2 had no need to call for Super Chicken, since the sextet did a stellar job, only missing 2 questions the entire evening. D and M +2 had another fantastic night and took second, followed by Marsha's crew, Team Lame. The B52s once again returned to their comfort zone: fourth place and chose anatomy and physiology as their theme. The mini-Posse stage a fourth-round comeback to take fifth and chose Leave it to Beaver as their theme. We welcomed back STaR, who were a little rusty. Frank and John changed their name to Two Dumb Sh*ts; and Nick made me promise to not make any comments about her new doll.

Bube's: Zuzu Was Right!

Thanks to Charles of the Fool Monkey, who has never been referred to as angelic, we now retract one of last night's questions: True or false: according to the Bible, angels have wings? Turns out that there are indeed instances in the Bible referring to their wings, such as Ezekiel 10:5: "And the sound of the wings of the cherubims was heard even to the outward court." Now, halos are another matter...

Luckily the faulty question did not affect the final score.

Bube's: Gonna Fly Now

Tonight saw the (almost) triumphal return of Out of the Vortex to Bube's. Bill and Marge were leading throughout the night, but were passed at the finish line by the hard-charging Nutsacks. The Leigh-less Death rays also charged at the end and took third. The Dead Bears were distracted by their smack-talking with Bill and settled for fourth, while the Stonecutters and Give Her an Archimedian Screw tied for fifth (themes for next week: archery, Ben Stiller movies and Ben Franklin). Team Growler passed up their bag of pearl onions, MJ passed her stuffed buzzard to Sparky and the Unit 2 Meltdown Crew passed out after the last round. Tracie wondered why Stephen Hawking bothered to show up, but one of her teammates vowed to return.

Themes, themes, who's got the themes?

I knew I was forgetting something. This week's minithemes are

Bubes (May 9th): mathematics and the Rocky movies.

VFW (May 10th): car parts and chicken parts.